I've got forty-four channels going twenty-four hours.
You can guess what kind of state I'm in.
I'm diggin' I Love Lucy and The Man from U.N.C.L.E.,
then switch to Lynne Russell up on C. N. N.
I've got my hand on the remote if anything should bore me.
I switch to reverend Gene and he begins to pray.
In the bluish light I see a tome before me;
it helps me out if I should lose my way.
Cable Guide, Cable Guide, how I need you by my side.
I'd hate to think I'm just along for the ride,
but I'll always feel safe with my Cable Guide.
I've got a pyramid of beer cans on the coffee table.
Ain't fed my cat in 'bout a week or more.
I'll get up and go to work as soon as I am able.
I even get my food delivered from the store.
I don't need to complicate my life with action;
I get enough of that on MTV.
I don't want to join any political faction;
CSPAN lets me know just what they're doin' to me.
I'll always feel safe (he'll always feel safe)
You'll always feel safe with your Cable Guide.
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